Update (Ramblings) on Life

      Ahaha... I have nothing to post so I'm just going to ramble and hope that none of y'all notices, do you think that will work? (It probably won't if I keep this intro... let's call it a 50% chance).

        By the way, I do have more content coming up! I just purchased a few books and I plan on doing a book haul when they come in, I'm also planning on reviewing a few of the books on here because they are indie books I've been wanting to get my hands on for quite some time.


      So, life. That messy, horrible, draining, beautiful thing that fills our lungs.

       I think it's safe to say that I'm learning lots of important lessons this year, from working on my learner's permit to more spiritual and emotional lessons.
     The biggest thing I'm learning and struggling with right now is that it's okay to be vulnerable  in front of people. I'm one of those people who will listen to other's problems and do their best to comfort them, but won't really share my own that much.

       I'm honestly a walking, living paradox. I have no filter or shame when it comes to a lot of things but on things like my present day struggles I'm more silent.

      I just don't want to force my struggles on others and be a bother. But recently I've been breaking down in public, and that's hard. Crying in front of people is hard. Admitting that I'm not always happy and sure about everything is hard.

      But through this I've realized how amazing some of my friends are and I also hope that going through this time of darkness and doubt that I will someday be able to encourage and help someone going through it.

      This season of my life is just really draining, and I just have to remember to trust that night doesn't always last forever and that my sunrise is coming soon, if that makes sense...
^^Photo credit to yours truly a.k.a me.
     Onto a little bit less emotional things!

     Although I haven't been writing as much as I'd like, I have been reading... a lot.

      As I mentioned in my last post I am currently reading The Raven Cycle, which is AMAZING.
^^^Me after reading the first three books.
      I'm also reading Stray by Elissa Sussman, I decided to take a slight break from TRC, although The Raven King is sitting on my shelf calling my name.
     But yeah. I expected something much more cliché when I picked up this book, but I'm glad I gave it a shot because I'm halfway through and it's very interesting.

       I've also had pretty interesting conversations this month online and offline... We'll start with the ones I have pictures of...
^^My friend and I talking about food because #priorities  
^^Gotta love random texts, but same, girl, same.
MY FRIEND'S ESSAY WON A CONTEST! This isn't really weird, I'm just super happy for her, you go, girl!
      Guy at my teen advisory board meeting for my library (yes, we have a teen board): Okay, okay, guys. Since we can't bring peanut butter cookies to the party can we get a jar of peanut butter and some cookies and spread it on the cookies for the kids who want them?
      The rest of us:.... ew, no.
      Guy: But, guys...
     Girl: NO, JAMES (fake name).
     Librarian *walks up*: Have y'all decided on the food for our Harry Potter party?
     Me and other girl: Yes, we have butter beer (cream soda with fancy labels), jelly beans...
    James *raises hand*: I HAVE AN IDEA!!
     Teens: NO, JAMES.
     Librarian: Now, come on y'all, everyone gets to pitch in! Now, what ideas do you have, James?
    James: Can we get a jar of peanut butter and some cookies and spread it on the cookies for the kids who want them?
     Teens: *laughter* *groans* *shaking of heads*

     My little brother who is new to the board: *looks like he's about to give up on life*
     Librarian: ..... that is really gross, James.

       *At Sunday school after taking the Love Language test*
     Me: My results were quality time and words of affirmation!
    Guy sitting next to me: Same, I like it when people take the time to tell me how amazing I am, even though I already know.

       New foster sister, who is six years old: Gray, why are you always in your room? Why don't you go outside?
    Me: It's because... I'm a vampire.
    Sister: *whispers* I knew it! *slinks away*

     Six yr foster sister *puts sparkly heart glasses on me as I'm leaving youth group and walking her to the car*: There, now you look real pretty. 
      Me: *walks past guy friend in the parking lot who starts laughing*: DO YOU THINK I CARE, DUDE?
     Friend: I do think you care, just a little! *still laughing*
    Me (this was valentines day btw): HAVE FUN BEING FOREVER ALONE.
    Friend: I'll find someone one day!
    Sister: Tell your little boyfriend to stop shouting like a crazy man.

       S O , yep. That's my life!
 Are you excited for my book haul (bet you can't guess what I bought!)?
What funny conversations have you had with your friends?
What books are you currently reading?
How's life treating you?
I want the details, fam. XD
Happy Writing,


  1. These conversations! *dies* Especially the heart glasses one and the love language one. I love them both so much. XD

    Hmmm, whatever could be in this book haul? I guess we’ll have to wait and see...

    And, Gray? If you ever need someone to talk to, you know where to find me. I’m not always amazing at sharing my feelings online either, and that’s not really the place to do it. But if you ever need anything—a virtual shoulder to cry on, someone to talk to—please, let me know. <3

    This was an awesome post! Loved it!


    1. Thanks! My friends are pretty... different. XD

      Thank you, Faith. ❤

  2. Those conversations, oh my word, I need friends like that, lol. XD I'll be having interesting conversations on my wrap up post for February. XD My siblings say the funniest things. XD

    A challenge to guess the books? I ACCEPT! At least one of them is The Girl Who Could See because you mentioned Indie books you've been wanting to read. *nods* Plural of Indie Books? The Blood Race?

    Okay, those are my guesses. XD

    Opening up to other people is hard and is something I struggle with. While I like to comfort others, I don't like being comforted. It's hard, but holding everything in doesn't do us any favors. You'll get through this. I like your metaphor that your sunrise will come through. It makes me think of that Bible verse..."joy comes in the morning."

    God bless you! <3 <3

    ~Ivie|Ivie Writes

    P.s, I actually like peanut butter on cookies, lol. XD XD

    1. I'm going to be doing a conversation post, soon too :D Great minds think a like ;p

      Glad I'm not the only one that thought the peanut butter + cookies sounds yummy :D

    2. Peanut butter is a staple in my house. We put it on a lot of things. We put it on waffles, pancakes, toast, lots of stuff. XD I've put it on chocolate, brownies, and I would eat it on cookies. XD

    3. @Ivie, Siblings are so funny!!

      You guessed right! XD

      God bless you as well. <3

      @Keturah, Lol! And you should do a post like that, I'll be looking forward to it. :)

    4. You got them both?? *fangirls* You have to let me know what you think of them when you finish. :D

  3. I laughed so much at some of those later conversations!!! Peanut butter spread on cookies actually doesn't sound that gross.. I spread peanut butter on cheese and it's sooo yummy!!!!!!! I love peanut butter on just about anything though :D And that bit about "I like people telling me I'm awesome even though I know it already." Totally something my brother would say!

    Very fun :D


    1. Oh, and about feelings. I get you there. Forever I kept so many things hidden away. But after working for some people and being misunderstood for a long time (months) and then after my breakup last year I just couldn't keep it in anymore without fear of breaking for real, or going bitter. Last year was seriously a journey on my learning how to deal with feelings, let others love me, and not hate myself and the rest of the world. Super not easy.

      But I get you, and remember, it's OK to talk. Friends like to encourage friends ;)

  4. Hi Gray! Ah, such a funny post. You really had me laughing out loud, as always. Xxx

  5. "I like it when people take the time to tell me how amazing I am, even though I already know." SAME DUDE SAME. ;D Lol.

    1. He's pretty funny! But don't tell him I said that. XD

  6. Hugs, girl. I promise you that this darkness will help you be a comfort to someone else in pain. Just keep your eyes open. There's lots of people you can reach all around you. And in the meantime, I'll continue to pray for you. If you ever need to talk to someone, I'm here. My heart's always open.

    Your foster sister's words are gold. Pure gold.

    I would love to see a book haul!! I always love those. They make my bookish heart happy.

    1. Aw. Thank you. Same to you. ❤

      She's a character, all of my siblings are. :P

      Once they come in I plan on doing one!

  7. That love language test conversation...XD
    I had the same results on my test!
    Ooooooh, indie book reviews!!

    1. Ikr?? XD

      Really? *high fives*

      Yesss, I'm so excited to read + review them!

  8. The whole conversation at your library and the heart eyes are my favorites. It's so weird because I really dislike peanut butter (usually plain), but every now and then, I desperately crave it. What is this?? xD

    Your little sis is so adorable! It makes me so happy, that you guys are fostering! Giving little kids a chance of getting what they might never have gotten before.

    Letting others know how you're really feeling is a hard thing to do. It's easy to say you're fine when they ask, but inside you can't fight the feeling of being trapped. If you ever need to talk or have anything you want to pray about, just send me an email. *hugs* <3

    1. Oh, and Pineapple on pizza was the best topping idea ever created.

    2. I only crave peanut butter in elf bite (type of cookie) forms! ;D

      Thanks, she really is! We're fostering four siblings and she's the most rambunctious.

      Thank you. *hugs* <3

      I guess topping are in the eye of the beholder! XD

    3. Ohh, those sound amazing. :P

      You're welcome, and that's awesome!! Thank you so much for what you guys are doing! It means so much. <3

      You're welcome! <3

      Amen! xD

    4. They are!

      Thank you so much for your encouragement. <33

  9. Book hauls are so much fun! And SAME on food priorities! My friend and I spent the last thirty minutes of our sixth hour class literally searching up local restaurants and just talking about some of the places we’d love to go try (because let’s be honest FOOD TRAVELING IS FUN, EEP!!!).

    xoxo Abigail Lennah | ups & downs

  10. Everything you are going through becomes fuel for your writing tank. And blogging helps feed that passion too!

    Also.. *ahem* Imayormaynotlikepineapplepizzaandeanutbuttercookies

    1. YESS! I recently found out that my four foster siblings don't know what VeggieTales are so I'm going to have to save their childhood. XD

    2. Oh, and why?!!?! XD

      (Although you do you, but no thank you on pineapple toppings and peanut butter). :P

  12. LOL, THIS IS HILARIOUS!! Makes me miss some of the funny guys in my youth group who are like that, but they all graduated and had to leave youth group and are now at college or something, SO...

    DUDE, THAT PIC OF CHANGE PLACES WITH ME IN THAT BUSH IS JUST PERFECT. Goodness, I really want to read that book.

    Uuuummmm, *COUGH* I love pineapple of my pizza!!! Absolutely scrumptious! But I guess I can see why some (scratch that: MANY) people wouldn't like it. xD

    Lila @ The Red-Hooded Writer

    1. Thank you!
      That's so sad, I can't stand it when that happens. :/

      YOU NEED TO. It's pretty cool!

      *gasps* Traitor. XD

  13. Yeah, those low-points come and go. Fifteen can still be a weird time, but I think sixteen is generally better. It depends, of course. But you know, ya keep on chugging, praying. Having a foster sibling would be cool. I have a 16-year-old sister and a 12-year-old brother, and having a little sibling to sort of mentor would be interesting.

    1. They do, they're so unpredictable.
      It certainly can, and I hope sixteen is better. Thank you!

      Fostering is pretty cool. ^_^

  14. I remember those days and I'm sure more are coming for me. Keep going it will get better.

    Oh book hall cool. I want a blog :(. I so want a blog but I can't have one yet. Soon though soon. Anyway God bless.

    1. Everyone has those months and even years. Thanks, Rakayle!

      When you do get a blog feel free to contact me if you need help or anything! <3

  15. I know a lot about the living paradox thing....I'm also one, it seems. LOL. Being able to be vulnerable in front of people, even close friends was really really tough for me too. It will come in time *hugs*, just keep Jesus close.

    haha, your text messages sound a lot like some of the ones the Lia and I pass each other sometimes. I dearly love weird conversations, they are the most fun :).

    Your new foster sister sounds like a lot of fun some days, LOL :).

    1. Yes, and thank you. <3

      Weird conversations are the best!

      And she is!! :D

  16. This was hilarious!

    Peanut Butter on the cookies? Definitely gross.

    "Same, I like it when people take the time to tell me how amazing I am, even though I already know." *shakes head* Seriously? :)

    A vampire? ;)

    Awww!! That's adorable! "HAVE FUN BEING FOREVER ALONE." Go you! "Tell your little boyfriend to stop shouting like a crazy man." That cracked me up!

    1. Thank you!

      IKR?!? XP

      Yeah, he's a character. XD


      Thanks! Him and I were hanging out today and my little sister shook her head at me. XD

  17. I love that GIF! So cute... especially since I've grown up on Larry boy and veggie tales. ;)

    I'm so sorry you are going through a hard time in your life! Remember that God uses the storms to make you stronger! I've been praying for you!! <3

    ~ Lilly

    1. Yes! I loved ( and still love) veggietales. ^_^

      Thank you.

  18. I missed your posts! I've been binge reading a bunch of them, can't get enough of your writing!


    1. Aw, thank you! This comment honestly made my day. :D

  19. What's so gross about the peanut butter and cookies? xD I don't eat a lot of peanut butter or cookies and I've never tried them together but I don't get it?

    And your conversations with friends are to envy for! (cause I ain't gonna die for CONVERSATIONS of all things xD)

    And I hope you're feeling better and are trying to tell more about your struggles to your friends. (Though I should do this except I don't have friends *knocks self out with a facepalm*)

    1. Yes it is! XD

      Ah, introverted thinking. XD

      Thank you! And I'm sure you'll make friends, you're an amazing person. <3

  20. I know what you mean. Being an introvert I want to listen to other peoples porblems, not tell them my own. I've been breaking down a lot, too, so even though it is hard, telling other people makes it easier. *hugs*

    Haha!! Those are brilliant, I love it!! All those stories: "Peanut butter (I think I would actually do that.)", vampire, and sunglasses. XD Made my day.


    1. I hope you feel better as well, Clare. Remember that God loves you more than anything, I'll be praying for you. <3



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