1/16/19

- ̗̀ Finding Good People and Changing for the Better ̖́ -


It's crazy, guys, I didn't know so many things before last month.

I didn't know how I was lost.
I didn't know what my goals were.
I didn't know God.

And among these things, I didn't know so many genuinely good people existed.


I'm not just talking nice, I mean good. People that you meet and feel like you've known your whole life, people who radiate light, people who strive to love endlessly, people who care about you without even having a reason why yet.

People who you can go to.
People who you can look up to.
People that will try to pull you up instead of dragging you down.

Good people.

I thought people like the ones I know now were just a myth of a Christian. I thought the church I love now was just a fantasy.

It wasn't, and I praise God that he led my family and I onto the right path.

And now that I'm here, now that I'm growing, now that I'm learning to trust again, learning to love again, learning how to find peace and joy again, I know what I need to let go of.


For so long I have been holding onto this fear of rejection, the fear that I'll never be good enough and it's closed me off from people because I'm afraid to get close to others because they might not like me or I might disappoint them.

I feel like I am not enough.

And the truth is, by myself, I am not.

Over the years I have become so broken, the choices I've made, the paths I chose to take have led me astray and now I am shattered and scratched.

But I know someone who fixes the broken. I know someone who once made me fearfully and wonderfully, and I know someone who can make me whole again. And I know He has a greater purpose for me and I know that He makes me worthy.

And I'm ready to obey, and I'm ready to live and to walk in life.



The toxicity of the people and place I use around got to me, and now I feel it leaving my system.

I went there to be sharpened, but I ended up being dulled.

I was led astray and fed lies that were portrayed as truths.

And I am so use to cold people, sad people, misled people, disgruntled people, that I've become one myself.

I'm done with that.

I'm done with being so lonely, empty, and miserable.

I am done with being lost.

I don't want to be like that anymore.

The sadness inside me has been vanquished and now I am free.


I don't want to be cold anymore, I want to be there for others. I want to be open, and I want to trust again.

There's still a long way I need to go, and so many areas I need to grow in, but I've come so far in the last few weeks, and that gives me hope.


Sorry for yet another rambling, my thoughts are scattered and messy but I do feel so much happier.
How have you been changing?

Also, a small disclaimer, all pictures in this post are my own! I'm trying to use more of my own photos.



32 comments:

  1. I absolutely love this post! It's exactly what I went through during my darker periods. And the cool thing is, even if you still have toxic situations in your life, you can still choose to be the person who is a bright light in the darkness. It's harder, for sure, but it still is a beautiful thing.

    Keep brightly shining, dear girl! There are so many people who need to hear about the hope that God brings. And I'm so happy that you're finding peace in life now.

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  2. YES YES YES YES! Love this and love you! I remember being at that place you are at now -- that place where the brokenness is beginning to make sense, that place of healing and restoration. AND gahh so happy for you!

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  3. oH, I'm so glad you're happier and finding good friends! Friends make all the difference on some days ;D Lovely photos, too!

    keturahskorner.blogspot.com

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  4. Hey, we're always going to be learning, all through our lives! That's why sanctification is a work and not an act (as said in the Shorter Catechism)! We just shouldn't weary of constantly growing.

    I love the photos!!

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    Replies
    1. That's true, thank goodness we are sanctified through God. <3

      Thank you!

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  5. I love posts like this! Sounds like you're heading in a good direction.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, I'm glad you like posts like this!

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  6. Your blogs name changed, is there a reason for that?

    This is a neat post. :) And was enjoyable to read.

    -Quinley

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    1. I just thought it fit better. ^_^

      Thank you!

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    2. Neat, I agree it has a new ring to it. :)

      You're welcome.
      -Quinley

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    3. You're welcome, also I was wondering since the WIP page disappeared does this mean this is no longer a writing blog? If you don't mind me asking.
      -Quinley

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    4. I still love writing, so I'll still have posts about it and books in the future. I took that page down because I no longer want to be published and it felt weird up, however, I might my book into a mini series on here sometime soon. ^_^

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  7. 1) love the new header and name.
    2) it is weird to see your blog without a wip page... but I feel so happy for you and I feel like this is a great direction for you. <3
    3) MY HEART IS FILLED WITH JOY KNOWING YOU ARE JOYFUL! <3

    You were on my mind a lot with everything happening and I felt so sad and wished I could do something to help you. But God was there and I knew He would pick you up and dust you off, helping you to find joy and peace.

    Life is tough. But you are tougher. And God is the toughest.

    <3 <3

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    Replies
    1. 1) Thank you so much, Ivie!! I feel like I'm changing it WAY too much, but it's the destination not the journey that counts, lol.
      2) It is weird, but it felt so out of place. Thank you! <3
      3) <3 <3 <3

      I'm sorry that my troubles made you sad, but I am grateful for your friendship! It means so much to know people care. Thank you. <3

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  8. I am very glad you found people who are good for you! I hope you continue to feel joy! Praying for you always :)

    Lia

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much, friend! I'm praying for you as well. <33

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  9. *hugs* There is so much hope and love and soul in this post. <3 Praise the Lord that He's strengthening you so much!

    Lila @ The Red-Hooded Writer

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  10. So beautiful! I'm so glad that you're moving closer and closer to Him; there is no joy on earth that matches it. <3

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much, there really isn't anything on earth like it. <3

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