If I Had Known, I'd Have Smiled More // Guest post by Keturah Lamb

I've always looked forward to the days when I'd be done with school, and no longer be a teenager.
Somehow my twenties promised hopes of no more confusion, no more rules, and no more angst. 

Little did I know that I'd someday I'd laugh at my younger self. No, I don't want to return to those good 'ol days, but I do envy the naivety I had back then. 

I always thought I could escape the present, somehow, by jumping into the future. 

Turns out becoming an adult didn't change much, and all the world of teenagers followed me into adulthood.

There's only one word I despise with all my being: Adulting. 
I don't mean to say that I hate being an adult, but that I dislike the ideology behind the term when used by modern society. 

There's only one phase I'd never want to repeat in life: Being a teenager.
I don't mean to say that it's my entire teen years were horrid, or that I hated school (I loved learning so much), or that I even hated all the rules and expectations heaped onto a teenager. 

As a teenager, I was tired of being told I couldn't work or pursue my dreams yet, or being told I didn't know anything about the things I wrote and spoke of because, "one can't have wisdom or experience without age", or that people looked at me and automatically expected me to be reckless rather than responsible just because of my age rather than who I proved myself to be or not to be. 

I dislike the term Adulting because it carries all the baggage of a teenager, and flaunts it, saying, "I wish to immature, irresponsible, and disrespectful, but since you're forcing me, I guess I'll get out of bed and fold my own sheets and fry my own eggs. But that's all". 

But now that I'm an "adult", what has really changed? 

First, my eyes have opened. 
Oh, innocent days of bliss. What happened to the world you hoped for? 

Second, I learned lessons I wish I hadn't learned. 
I learned to hate, and I learned to love being alone—a feat for an extrovert. 

And I learned to love. Or more like, just what love is and how it works. 
It works hard, love that is. It's not some easy thing and often you're forced to love others that hate you and leave you alone. 

Mostly, I learned though that it's foolish to hope for a future if there aren't glimpses of its possible existence in today. 

source: canva 

People will always judge me for my age. "You're twenty-three? There's no way you know a thing about kids. Foolish are the young, and wise are the aged."
People will always have something to say about my life choices. "You didn't go to college? Yes, that's nice that you have your own business, but you can't be truly successful unless you have a degree."
People will always say something. And there will always be someone to hate you. 

I've had to learn to care for those people anyways (without listening to their words). 
I've had to learn to live life now for the tomorrow that God points toward. 
I've had to learn how to smile despite all the angst warring inside. I've also had to learn how to let that angst just slip away and have no room in my life. Being an adult is busy times, after all ;D 

Mostly, I've had to learn to put no stock in man's proverbs, in society's philosophies, or in myself, above all. 

You see, God gave me today. 
Perhaps, I or somebody else trashed my yesterdays. And there's no guarantee of a better tomorrow. 

Today is special. And I wish I'd known that in my school years (or just after). Because I wasted so many days that God gave me wishing that they were over when I could have done so much for Him. 

But, as I like to say, "It's all right to hate the past, but never regret it. It's our schoolmaster."

If I can leave you with one scripture passage, please read the Parable of the Talents (Matthew 25: 14-30). God has given us all something; to some more and to other less. But we get to decide whether to hide away what he's given or to make what He's given us flourish and increase. 

Maybe it's not huge for you, and maybe you don't know how God will use your todays, but they are what He's given them, so live them fully according to His will! 
And don't forget to smile ;D 

Wasn't that just wonderful? Leave a comment below for Keturah!

What do you wish you had known? 

Also: I'm trying to get back to writing actual blog posts for y'all and not guest posts, what content or topics do you want to see?  


  1. um yeah Keturah, you put it into words..... This! This is exactly what i have been feeling lately. So thanks :)

    And Gray, i would totally love to see more posts in the style of your therapy sessions post you wrote a couple months ago. I love that post with all my heart. But i love everything you put out, so i'm happy with whatever you decide!!!

  2. It seems like we are always living for a better day, instead of living for today. I just read a book that was about that.

    Any post you want to do Gray, I love them.


    1. that book didn't happy to be "All The Other Girls" did it ;p Because that's what my book is mostly about ahha!

  3. I used to think this when I was like 10 - that being an adult was magically easy ... But I learned NOT pretty quick 😂 I relate but thankfully I love my teen years with all my heart!!

    1. That's amazing you love your teens!!! Sounds like you learned younger than me ;)

  4. Ahh, thanks so much for sharing, Gray!!!!

    MB: keturahskorner.blogspot.com
    PB: thegirlwhodoesntexist.com

  5. This is such a beautiful and encouraging post. I also feel like I'm perpetually judged by people because I'm pursuing a life as an author instead of getting a degree and getting an office job. It's good to know that I'm not alone. Thank you so much, Katurah.

    1. I don't think we can ever get away from the perpetual judgement, and I that's okay I guess. Because it's good for humans to think and care about one another ... though sometimes we younger people would have them do it less ;p But yes, no matter what we do we should always do something different according to someone else ... so just do what you have to do, always remaining respectful and loving to those around us ;D

      so glad you liked it Bethany! Thanks ;D

  6. Beautiful! I for one was super glad to get out of my teen years. XD

  7. YES. I love this! Keturah, this is beautiful. <3 I say this to myself everyday: "This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it." Psalms 118:24


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