9/15/19

What I'm Learning About Claiming Anxiety



By
Kara Linaburg @ Beautifully Broken

I love watching people fail,” someone once told me.
“Why?” I asked in disbelief. 
“Because I love watching them get back up, stronger than before.”

All my life I’ve struggled with the intense anxiety of failing, of not being loved, of abandonment, of losing control, of death...I have anxiety about my anxiety. 
However, recently that line about watching people get back up after their failings stronger than before has stuck with me. And even more recently have I become proud to say, “I have anxiety.” 
I believe that what we say about ourselves and to ourselves, holds power. I have learned that how we say something matters, and this is why I’m proud to say...
I have anxiety, and while I may have anxiety, it does not have me.


Have
Verb. 1. To possess, own, or hold


Anxiety has been a normal factor of my life for as long as I can remember. However, I refuse to be ruled by it. I will fail, but I will get back up. I will fight again and again each day. My failings do not define me but only make me stronger. I will tell my anxiety exactly how I feel. 
I have anxiety--it does not have me. I will own it, hold it captive, learn to fight and control it.
For so long my mental state held me captive, for so long I wanted to give up the fight. And sometimes my mental stage does win. I am often paralyzed by the blinding fear that those I love can let me down, abuse my love, and use it to their advantage. Sometimes I am overwhelmed by how insignificant I feel, how incapable and far from the light I can seem.  But no more. 
It’s true: I have anxiety. But it will never have me. 

I can claim freedom and I will have freedom. 

This is beautiful. I really don't need to say anything else. Thank you, Kara, for this post!!

20 comments:

  1. Beautiful, but I have mixed feelings about this.
    I really like how you say you own your anxiety, not the other way around. And I love that bit about loving to see other people get back up.
    But I think we need to be careful about embracing the fall as much as the rise. God doesn't love it when we are hurt. He'd much prefer we lived life as He designed, always growing and rising, and never being wounded. Of course, because of our own decisions, we do fall. And sometimes we can find art and beauty in that fall ... but only when it gives us hope for when we get back up. So even then, it's not the sorrow we find solace in, but the hope. And we hopefully live toward a life that has less falls and more victories.
    But it really does sound like you're coming to an amazing place in life! Also, I love small, sweet things ;)

    MB: keturahskorner.blogspot.com
    PB: thegirlwhodoesntexist.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your thoughts, girl!
      Feel free to have mixed feelings. <3 I'm all about embracing both the fall and the rise -- especially because I've fallen so much in my life. I really want others to not feel ashamed in that fall because with Hope and Love they can always get back up.

      Delete
  2. "I have anxiety, and while I may have anxiety, it does not have me."
    I love that!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I LOVE this post! It was so beautifully put. Great job, Kara! <3 <3 <3

    (also, Gray, are you still accepting guest posts? I just got an idea for one and would love to submit it if I can ;D)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Ash for commenting and reading!!!!!

      Delete
    2. Yes I am! It's kind of only a September thing, but I'd let more come in for sure

      Delete
  4. *sobs* Wow. This is SO inspiring. Totally flipped my perspective of my own anxiety upside down. Thank you so, so much for this, Kara. <333

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ummm girl you make me to happy I could cry. XOXO
      You are NEVER alone, you are strong and bold and beautiful and our anxiety and faults do not have to define us.
      Thank you!

      Delete
  5. Great post! So true.

    astorydetective.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  6. wow this was so beautiful Kara!!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. This is a beautiful post, Kara! <3
    -Brooklyne

    ReplyDelete
  8. This is such a beautiful post!
    I think there are some of these things that I don't agree with but I agree with you about people getting stronger than before.
    - Emma :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't be afraid to disagree -- thank you for being honest about that. <3

      Delete

Hi, wonderful human bean.
I am so happy that you took time out of your day to share your thoughts with me! :)
But please,
• Be kind • Be respectful • No swearing •
I will do my best to reply!