10/6/19

What I Do Not Owe You As a Blogger



It has taken me a long time to finally come to this conclusion.

Two and a half years to be exact.

Dear readers, 

There is something I do not owe you as a blogger...




















I don't have to publish your comments. 

Seems harsh, and for a while, I haven't come out and stated that because of that reason, but it's true.

Freedom of speech, right? 
I would think as I clicked cancel on the "delete comment" option.

No.
Because it is my blog and I don't owe you a place to express your views if they are unkind.

There's this person who has left very demeaning comments on my body and my intelligence in the past. Those comments were clearly aimed to hurt me and make me be silent on the topic I was posting on.

I use to think I was strong for not deleting this person's and other people's comments that said things along these lines, now I realize that I don't want this toxicity on my blog.

 I don't owe these people the satisfaction of seeing their hateful words underneath my blog posts. 

There have also been people who have come onto my blog to argue or attack me because of the fact that I am in the church of Christ, and while I understand and don't mind honest questions or even people who want to discuss my beliefs--I will no longer be putting up with loaded questions or long ramblings about people's sadly deceased loved ones.

Those aren't appropriate. Those aren't okay. 

It is not too much to ask people to respect my beliefs and or question what I believe in a respectful and coherent way. 

And if you cannot do that then your comment will not be left up for others to read.


I changed my comment settings for the first time in two years, I changed it so all comments would be moderated...

this turned out to be a huge pain, so I went back to my old settings, HOWEVER, I will delete your comments from now on if they do not follow the guidelines of courtesy and consideration towards myself and my other blog readers.   

That being said, a big thank you to my other blog readers who even when they disagree with my blog posts, they always come to me in love and we can have civil discussions. Y'all are the best and I'm grateful to be able to call you guys friends.


Have a wonderful week.


26 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry to hear about this, Gray! Don't ever let other people's low comments get to you, you are beautiful inside and out. <3

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    Replies
    1. Aw, thanks, Ash! There's always going to be rude people, but I thought that I should post a disclaimer in case they didn't realize the weight of their words.

      Delete
  2. I'm sorry, dear, that's not right. NO ONE should be talking to you this way. YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO DELETE ANY COMMENT YOU DON'T LIKE. People, we can disagree and still get along! why will no one understand that?? *sigh*

    Love you, girl. You're super amazing!!!

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  3. Exactly!! This is your blog, not theirs!!! <3 <3 <3

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  4. You don't owe anybody anything, Gray!!!! Sorry to hear about those comments. People sometimes *shakes head* You're amazing, never stop being you!!!

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  5. That's awful!! I hope it stops happening. :( ALSO THIS IS YOUR BLOG SO YOU CAN DELETE RUDE COMMENTS.
    Don't let people's hateful comments make you doubt that you're an amazing person, created by an all-powerful, all-knowing God!

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  6. Oh Gray...I've felt like firing off at all those rude people in your comments so many times, but at the same time I realized it was not my battle.

    I'm SO glad you've chosen to do this. I feel like it will be more freeing for you, and you won't have to look at those awful comments whenever you come back to your posts. You don't have to explain a thing to any of your sweet readers! :) I'm sure everyone will understand.

    I just pray those people who are posting such hurtful comments are touched somehow by your gesture. Maybe they'll realize how rude they were. I only pray this will do something for them!

    Anywho, I FINALLY got back to your comment on the "I Don't Have Enough Faith to be An Atheist" post. xD About time, you think??

    Lastly but not leastly - I love you girl, Keep being you. You're awesome, and nothing those people say about you is true. xx

    ~ Lily Cat (Boots) | lilycatscountrygirlconfessions.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's a never ending battle with people like that.
      Thanks, Lily! I'm glad you understand, your support means a lot. <3

      Ooh, interesting! I'll go read it, but I apologize ahead of time if I don't get around to replying, I know you know that it's tough to keep up at times!

      Love you too, friend. :)

      Delete
  7. I have it set so I moderate all comments from posts two weeks past, because most of my good comments come on newer posts, and the older posts get mostly spam or hateful political people commenting.

    I did notice you'd changed your settings, and wondered ;)

    But yes, I believe the same thing. I believe in freedom of speech where you have the freedom to stand .... so basically, if you come into my house cussing me out, I'll tell you to leave. Also, we can all handle things differently, and must take that into consideration. I love seeing disagreement on my blog, so I allow that. But I don't allow insulting or cursing.

    great post!

    MB> keturahskorner.blogspot.com
    PB> thegirlwhodoesntexist.com

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    Replies
    1. That's a really good idea! I binge read blogs all the time but I don't comment on year old posts because it's rather moot. I think that the majority of people who comment on old posts are just wanting to be angry, haha.

      That house analogy is a good one! Thanks for putting it in that sense.
      I'm okay with disagreeing as well, but there's a line between being civil and being downright mean or inappropriate with one's points.

      Delete
  8. Agree with you 100% Gray! That's why I moderate my comments. Freedom is fine, but this is your space, and you don't need to put up with hurtful comments.

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  9. Wow, I cannot believe how unkind some people can be. You can definitely maintain a different viewpoint and still express it respectfully! You have every right to remove toxic, unproductive comments from your creative space. <3

    (Also, spiders creep me out but I still think these pics are really cool. XD)

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  10. I agree! No need to have mean comments on your blog.
    Love the pictures.!
    astorydetective.blogspot.com

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  11. I hate that people were doing that to you. 100% agree that you don't have to publish them.

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  12. Hey Gray, it's been awhile. Life's been crazy, and I'm still catching up on blogging/reading. :D

    Anyway, after reading this, I realize I might have come off as harsh in a comment (and I can't find your post, but I think you know which one I'm referring to, lol) and I apologize if I did, I can be very passionate about what I believe in, sometimes to a fault. I'm sorry if I offended you, and I completely respect your right not to post comments, mine or others. I'm sorry, and I hope you'll forgive me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I feel you on life being crazy, lol!
      I believe I do. There's nothing wrong with being passionate about what is important, and I know I can come off too strong or like I'm trying to attack people as well, especially online where we cannot hear tone of voice or see facial expressions. Of course, I forgive you, and I hope you'll forgive me if I have every offended you as well--certainly wasn't my intent ever.

      Delete
  13. Thank you for posting this! Recently had someone who I know in person comment things that made me a little harassed on my blog and I didn't know if I should leave them up or remove them but I am glad to have read this because you are so right in what you have to say about deleting comments.

    I am sure you have noticed me catching up on your blog. I enjoy it dearly and think you're a strong and graceful human.

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    Replies
    1. Oh, no! I'm so sorry you have to deal with that, Vanessa!! That is the worst :/

      <333 Right back at you

      Delete

Hi, wonderful human bean.
I am so happy that you took time out of your day to share your thoughts with me! :)
But please,
• Be kind • Be respectful • No swearing •
I will do my best to reply!