11/9/19

Dear Boy


Dear boy,
I liked you from the moment I talked to you.
It took me months to admit that to myself.

I liked you.
I liked your weird quirks.
The way your shoulders shake when you laugh.
The way your head bobs back and forth when you're agreeing with something.
The way your eyes widen when you're surprised.
The way you laugh under your breath at unfunny jokes.

I admired you for how passionately you prayed.
For how evident your love for the Lord is in your life.

You would say something in a group only to fall silent when you thought no one was listening,
I was.


Dear boy,
It took me a while to get over you.
I knew I had to.
There were so many reasons why you would never see me as more than a little sister.
I knew I had to.
Time was ticking,
who knew when you would meet that girl?
The one you would marry?
I knew I needed to move on because that girl wasn't going to be me.

Dear boy,
I know you think you've found that girl.
Finally.
I can see the relief on your face as you sit next to her.
I can also see the way she leans away from you.
The sad look in her eyes when she told me that she had agreed to get dinner with you.
The way she's convinced herself that you might be her only option.
The desperation in both of your eyes.
The way she forces herself to smile.


Dear boy,
I'm not saying that she can't learn to love you.
Maybe she is the one.
But right now, she doesn't think you are.

Dear boy,

I'm not saying that I'm the one.
I'm not trying to get you to notice me.
I've moved on.
But I just wanted you to know that you deserve more than a half-hearted "yes".
And I hope one day you'll find out what it feels like to be liked back.
That dizzying, happy, overpowering feeling when you look at someone and they're already looking at you.
I want that for you.


Dear boy,
I was talking to guy this weekend.
He sat down next to me and started asking about me.
We were laughing, singing songs together, and the way he smiled at me...
I felt seen.
Everything seemed to fade away except the sound of his laugh and a fluttering feeling in my chest.
Then, he looks over and I follow his gaze to you and her.
Sitting next to each other like we were, except she's angled away from you and you're desperately trying to start a conversation.

He glances back to me, "Unfortunate," 
I nod, glad that someone else sees it too.
He and I made eye contact, he smiled shyly and I smiled back, and in that moment I wondered if you had ever felt a feeling like this.
In that moment, I prayed you would.


Dear boy, 
You deserve more than you seem to think you do.
There's a girl out there who will laugh at your jokes just because it's you telling them.
There's a girl out there who will look at you like you are the universe--in awe and amazement that she was blessed by you.
There's a girl out there who will want to talk to you as much as you want to talk to her.
There's a girl out there who will always search for you in crowded rooms.
There's a girl who will be just as nervous around you as you are around her.
There's a girl who will put you second next to God and His church.
There's a girl who will fall head over heels for you.

Dear boy, 
I pray you find her.
I pray you to realize that girls like her exist.
I pray you realize that you are worthy of a girl like that, just like I am worthy of a boy like that.

We'll find them, don't settle.
Please.


Hahaha, a letter to my former crush. If you liked this post let me know, I can write more for different people.

Also, sorry that the pictures are trash, I took them with my phone and I had nothing else to use for this post.

What is something you wish you could tell someone in your life? 
Have you ever felt like this? 



38 comments:

  1. I actually did really like it - to be honest!! I love the writing style and the story behind it and just everything is great! And yes, make another (or five) about other people you know because this is great! 😄

    Oh wow...there are so many people I want to tell things to. Things I regret not saying of not getting a chance to say. With one it's been quite a few years since the incident where I wished I would've spoken up, and I haven't seen said person for two years, so I'm not actuallysure I'll get the chance to say anything. 😣 One can always hope and pray, though!

    Again, awesome post, Gray! And no worries - sometimes my pictures die, too. *Grins*

    ~ Lily Cat (Boots) | lilycatscountrygirlconfessions.blogspot.com

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    1. I'm glad to read that! You might see more posts like this, haha, I always have a lot on my mind!

      Prayer is so powerful. <33

      You get it!!

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  2. Wow, Gray, this was really good. Thank you so much for sharing it! <3 I would love to see more.

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  3. Aww, this was so sweet and beautiful 💖 I'd love to see more posts like this!

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  4. I can't believe how well this is told. Seriously one of my favorites of yours ... And it has some great plot twists ... you need to find some contest to enter it into.

    And the message is beautiful!!

    MB> keturahskorner.blogspot.com
    PB> thegirlwhodoesntexist.com

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  5. Okay wow, that was amazing <3

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  6. This was beautiful, Gray!! ������ I love it so much

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  7. SLKDJFLASKJDLKAJDLF MY HEART!! I LOVE THIS SO MUCH. ITS SO BEAUTIFUL!!

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  8. Um okay that was amazing. Wow.
    <333333333

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  9. b e a u t i f u l. just beautiful.

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  10. This was beautiful, Gray!! I loved every line!! <3 <3 <3

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  11. Yes I liked this a lot. I relate soo much!!!! I do wish I could tell my crush this....

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  12. please do write more of these!
    it was a genuine glimpse of your soul.
    -fern

    www.midnightonmymountain.blogspot.com

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  13. i'm probably really late to this but oh my gosh, i've never felt anything more than i do with this piece,, like holy crap man!! i love it!!
    -mckenzie
    [the-anti-social-social-club.blogspot.com]

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    Replies
    1. Oh no! You're not late at all, friend <3 Thank you so much for reading

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